This article originally posted 10/9/17 via Collegiate Collective
“You’re incomplete until you find a spouse”
“You’re still single? Something must be wrong with you.”
“If you got in a little bit more shape you could find a spouse”
If you are single, you’ve likely heard each of these lies, if not all three of them…often. This is the enemy’s oldest trick in the book. He pulls this trick with Eve in the Garden (Gen 3:5) and he pulls it with Jesus in the wilderness (Mt. 3:9). No one is exempt from it. If he can get you to believe that something is missing from your life he can likely get you to question the provision and goodness of God.
In each of these lies the enemy tries to rob you of hope. He tries to leverage these little lies with the purpose of getting you to a place of thinking, “God really doesn’t care about me because he’s not providing for me. He is holding his goodness back from me.”
If the enemy can strip away your trust in God, he can strip away your fellowship with him and the advancement of his kingdom.
Distracted from the mission
What the enemy wants to do more than anything is distract you from God’s mission. He wants to distract you from your students and potential students. If he can fill your mind with fear and doubt, then you’re right where he wants you. He wants you to believe that singleness is a curse and your ministry would be a lot better if you had a partner. He wants you to forsake the provision and goodness of God.
Some might argue that the Scriptures say, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.” That’s true, from what I’ve heard (and am just now experiencing), marriage is a good thing. However, Jesus and Paul might strongly argue that singleness is a gift and can be leveraged for incredible kingdom advancement, since the two godliest people that ever walked the face of this earth served in their singleness.
Let me sneak-a-preach!
Let me get preachy for just a second. After all, God’s word is the remedy for a wandering heart.
In the Book of Colossians, Paul speaks to a church that believed in the emptiness of certain philosophies and human traditions. The church fields the lies of Satan that their lives were missing something. What was Paul’s antidote?
“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority.” (Col. 2:8-10, ESV)
In order to combat Satan’s lies, Paul shows them Jesus and their relation to him. Paul says that the fullness of God is in Jesus and that we are filled, or complete, in him. In other words, Paul is asking them “Why are you chasing after empty human philosophy and traditions when you are complete in Jesus Christ?”
Here is where we need to hone in. Paul says that we are filled, or another translation would be complete in him. If you are in Christ then you are a complete person with no lack. Ephesians 1:3 tells us that as a believer in Jesus Christ we have been given every spiritual blessing. So as a Christ follower, abandoning your life for the mission of God, you lack nothing and are complete in your stance before God.
Let God’s Word consume you
Single or not, it’s important to allow God’s word to consume you. It needs to manifest itself in you.
“His delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:2, ESV)
The man or woman who makes God’s word a part of themselves reaps the benefit of spiritual vitality and strength. I want to offer three helps to defeat these lies of the enemy and it starts with the Word. First, I want to write a disclaimer: If you find yourself single, isolated, and not listening to the voice of God, then there may be some things you need to get straight. You have no one in your life to help reflect what you’re doing. Bring in accountability and community around you. Let them speak into your life. Lean into God through devotion to him, his church, and ministry to the lost.
1. You are complete.
Colossians 2:10 speaks to this,
”You have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority.”
The preeminent Christ rules in heaven at the right hand of the Father and you have been made complete because of him. You are son and daughter of God and according to his perspective, you are complete.
2. There is nothing wrong with you.
For the man or women who have committed their life to God, there is nothing wrong with you. Trust in God’s timing. It will be well worth it.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and jdo not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Pr. 3:5-6, ESV)
God is molding and shaping you into his image through his timing. Trust in God’s good timing.
3. There is nothing unattractive about you.
Saying there is nothing unattractive about you is a stretch since we’ve never met, right? In my opinion, God knows exactly how he designed you; your mind, heart, soul, and physical appearance. When he made you, he was proud he made you.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well” (Ps. 139:13-14).
You’re his workmanship. He’s still proud of the way he made you. Don’t let cultures standard rob you of understanding how much joy God had in making you.